Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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