so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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