I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She bit a glass in half.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
