Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
