People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
