don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
