thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
