Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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