i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You smell like stripper and shame
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
