it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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