Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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