Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
