So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
