I'm so fucking centered right now
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
