Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
