***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My brain says no but my pants say off.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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