i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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