They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
