forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
