I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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