so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize