You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
