is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
