I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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