Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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