The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
