I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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