I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
