There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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