Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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