And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
