oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
