If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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