she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
