He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
