We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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