Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Text me some of your sweat
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