dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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