I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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