wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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