How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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