hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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