Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
