She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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