Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize