But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
