it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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