yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
