You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
