He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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