I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
