whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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