I hate your face
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize