It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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