WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
