did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
