I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
