So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
