Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize