saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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