thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
