How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
