I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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