Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
