I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have fence marks all over my body
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
