You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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