Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
