Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
